Double Trouble
by Verin Mystal
Summary: America invites England to the International Consumer Electronics's show in Las Vegas. On their last night in town, they are accidentally turned into children. Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Double Trouble  
By: Verin Mystal  
**Summary: Alfred invites Arthur to the Consumer Electronics's show in Las Vegas. On their last night in town, they are accidentally turned into children.  
Note: This was originally written for two requests on the Kink Meme. This fic is full of crack and is not meant to be taken seriously. With that said, I hope someone out there enjoys it. I own nothing but the crack filled ideas of this story.

*****

It was hot. Wait… that was an understatement. It was hotter than any place he'd ever been to before.

_… And I've been nearly all over the world._

England winced as he walked out of the large entrance full of lights, glamour and tinted windows. Something that seemed to be an absolute necessity here in this desert where the sun seemed to be shining at such an intensity that it felt as if his skin would burn to a crisp cherry red, bleach the color from his hair, and leave him writhing on the ground, a dried out _husk_ of his former self.

"Remind me again why I'm in this god forsaken desert?"

Laughter answered his question before a coherent response was given.

"The _International Consumer Electronics Show_, remember? I invited you? We just left five minutes ago?"

Right. They'd left the air conditioned room and were waiting for Valet to bring their car back.

"Why does the convention have to be _here_?"

"-Because it's _Las Vegas_?" America grinned. "You can't tell me you've never wanted to visit Vegas before."

England raised a thick eyebrow at him and pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Aww come on, don't give me that look." America tried to wrap an arm around England's shoulders, only to find it shrugged off. "Do you really hate this place so much?"

"Only that its almost 50 degrees Celsius and there's too much sun." England grasped the front of his button down and waved it in an effort to cool off, despite the fact he was trying to cool off with hot air.

On cue, the valet finally drove up with America's rented hybrid car, the latest model available.

_Though I don't know why he tries when I know he has a huge truck waiting back home._

While America tipped the valet, England made a mad dash around the car, flinging the door open and collapsing into the air conditioned passenger seat. America slid into the driver's seat and took off down the congested city roads.

"Well, with the convention over and our flights not leaving until tomorrow morning, want to check out the rest of the city?" A sly grin slowly spread across America's face. "There's this really cool bar I've heard about-"

England only jerked the air conditioning knob, turning the gentle cool flow to a small freezing hurricane.

"No bars… no drinking. I just want to go back to the room and take an ice bath."

"I can't believe you. We're in Vegas and all you want to do is hang around back at the hotel room?" America glared at him, disappointment and annoyance all rolled into one. "We could go to a show or a club or-"

"-And I'm definitely not going to a club."

America frowned. "We could go to a fancy restaurant? I'll even wear… a tuxedo."

Faintly, somewhere in the back of his head, warning bells were blaring off in feverish intensity. The thought of America willingly subjecting himself to wearing the suit of "ceremonial self-torture", as he so affectionately called it, for the sole purpose of going out to dinner with England should have reduced him to a speechless, blubbering idiot. However, all he could see was the parched wasteland and concrete jungle of the city and how much he missed his cool green fields and the morning mists.

"I'm not going anywhere except back to the hotel room."

America gripped the steering wheel and concentrated on driving.

America had planned the trip weeks in advance. Knowing England tended to prefer scenery over glitzy architecture, he made sure to get a hotel room that looked out to the western mountains, where the rock was painted orange, yellow and red. He read about the local restaurant ratings and where the best shows were at. And now, the evening he'd been hoping to spend having a fun time with his best friend and lover was dashed as he watched England make a beeline to the bathroom.

Throwing his keys and wallet to the bedside end table, America kicked off his shoes and listened to the sounds of a tinkling belt-buckle, the rustle of clothes and rushing water. Staring out the window for a moment, America let the sounds sink in before a smile slide into place.

_Maybe this evening won't be such a loss after all?_

* * *

America moved across the room to the bathroom where the gentle sloshing of water filled the air momentarily before a soft sigh replaced it. Curling his fingers around the door frame, America poked his head around the corner and stared. England lay in the tub; his eyes closed and head back against the lip of the porcelain tub. America toed his socks off before stepping into the bathroom, his toes curling slightly at the cold tile floor before they moved to the white shag rug at the tub. Moving around England's clothes, America let himself stare a bit more, admiring England's figure with a curl of hot pleasure before lowering himself to his knees. Leaning against the lip of the tub, America pushed forward and breathed across England's neck.

Jerking to the side, England's eyes flew open. Sighing, he curled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees.

"America please- not tonight."

Not giving up so easily, _as America has easily persuaded England to change his mind in the past_, he leaned forward and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his neck. The corded muscle tensed slightly as another sigh was uttered.

"_America…_"

There was a warning in his voice.

America pressed on, confident in his ability to seduce his long-time lover, and ghosted his lips up England's neck to his ear. Drawing the lob into his mouth, he rolled his tongue across it.

"Sshhh…" America breathed into his ear and brought his left arm over the lip of the tub, resting his hand on England's chest for a moment before sliding it down south. "Let me…"

England remained silent, but the tension melted away as he finally gave into the heated touches. Turning his head and catching America by surprise, England pressed their lips together in a wet, messy kiss, sliding his tongue into the others mouth. He pressed his hands to the other's chest, sliding them up and around his neck when he felt soft, warm pressure on his vital regions. Gasping softly, he pushed away.

A glaze of disappointment crossed America's face, expecting to be turned away.

England allowed a challenging smirk to grace his face before he stood and stepped around America. He sat on the bed, not caring if the sheets got wet.

Minutes passed before America came out of the bathroom, two champagne glasses in hand.

England could help but raise a brow. "Champagne? _Really_? I never knew you were such a romantic."

America smiled, returning the smirk England sent him. "Oh we won't be drinking from these."

"Then… why-"

"I'll be using these to start with before I lick the rest off your skin."

A deep shudder ran up England's spine.

"W-well…" England cursed himself for the stutter. "If that's the case… then I have something in my bag that will be… better."

"…Better?"

America headed to England's luggage and carefully set the crystal on top of the dresser.

"In the third pocket… at the bottom."

America rifled through the contents before withdrawing an old brown bottle. "Do I want to know how you managed to get this past airport security?"

"Be happy I considered to bring it, git." England lay back onto the bed as America worked the cork off the bottle with a loud pop before pouring the contents into the crystal. "I've been saving that for quite some time."

America set the bottle down on the end table beside England, staring at the blood red liquid for a moment before handing the glass over. "How old?"

Hesitating only for a moment, America sniffed the liquid, a sugary sweet tang scent, and took a sip. The liquid slid down his throat, leaving a pleasant burn behind.

"Older than you."

England down the glass in a single gulp and reached for the bottle, pouring himself another.

"Older than me? Really?" America let his eyes linger on England's body before moving them back to up his face. Swallowing the rest of the sugary liquid, America set his glass on the table and moved to the bed, swinging a leg over England's thighs. Plucking the glass away from him, America smirked when the liquid sloshed over the rim, spilling across England's chest.

"So clumsy-" England grasped America's chin. "Lick it off, servant."

Dark heat curled in America's gut at England's roleplay. Crawling over him, America dipped his tongue to the crimson liquid, licking and sucking it off with open kisses. He flicked his tongue across a pink nipple, and encouraged at the sudden intake of air below him, fastened his lips around it, sucking and curling his tongue around, making sure to do the same to the other neglected one before moving away. More liquid spilled across England's chest and down his stomach, America licking and kissing it away. England shuddered and sighed, writhing and curling as America's tongue touched sensitive patches of skin.

America ran his hands down either side of him, unable to help noticing the smooth, unbroken pale skin, void of scars… wait.

"Mmmm stop teasing…" England's voice sounded far higher than the normal low pitched tone England got when in bed. "America…"

America didn't move away and moved his hands over England's hip. The blitz- gone. He moved his hand across England's… _soft, unscarred_ belly. Finally, America ran his hand over England's chest, just under his heart. The tiny scar… _the revolution_…gone.

Scrambling away, America gawked at the tiny _boy_ laying naked on the bed.

"Y-you..._you're_…!"

"_America~…_" England's voice grew strained with annoyance. Opening his huge green eyes, he sat up to glare at America. "Why are you-!"

England half gasped, half cried out and plastered himself to the wall. "A-america!?"

"W-what!? Look at you! Your… little!" America jabbed his finger at him… and then noticed how small his hand was.

He looked down and found his clothes nearly falling off of his tiny frame.

"Wha-what is going on?? Why am _I_ little? Why are _you_ little??" America gasped while England dragged the bed sheet up and around his tiny frame. "Did you _plan_ this? Is this some fantasy-"

"I did _not_!" England sputtered, his body shaking and turning red. "You think I _want_ to be little again??"

"What the hell is that crap??" America rushed across the bed and grabbed the bottle, reading the label. "Wait… this isn't even English. What _is_ this stuff?"

"Let me see-" England jerked the bottle away with a glare. "This is Gaelic… it's… oh no."

"Oh no?" America repeated. "Is that bad?"

England stared at the bottle, his green eyes wide and his skin turning sickly pale.

"I need my wand."

"You need _that_ thing?" America gawked at him. "Then get it and change us back!"

"My wand is back in England."

America blinked and breathed in a deep breath. "What?"

England set the bottle in his lap and turned his gaze back to America.

"In order to change back, we have to go to England."

**

"The wand… is at your _house_? You brought this crap but left-"

"I didn't bring it on purpose!" England snapped. "I keep my potions and alcohol in the same area."

"_That's_ smart."

"Well there's no use in complaining about it now." England set the bottle back to the bedside table, ignoring America's comment. "We just have to fly back to my home and I'll change us back."

"Fly back- but our tickets were for _adults_! There's no way they'd let us-"

"Of _course_ I know about that! You invited Canada to this convention didn't you? Call him."

America brightened and dug through his pants pocket for his cell phone. Dialing his twin's number, he waited for him to pick up.

"Allo? C'est de la part de qui?"

"…Francis?"

England, having made his way back to the tub where his clothes lay, stumbled out of the doorway, tripping over his baggy pants.

"Ah~ L'Amérique… So nice of you to call-"

In the background there was a loud gasp, but America cut it off.

"What are you doing with my brother's cell phone?" America frowned, curling suspicion rising in his gut. "And what is that humming sound?"

"I believe that humming sound is the jet engines." There was a pause. "L'Amerique… your voice sounds _different_. It sounds as if someone has a firm grasp of your-"

"Matt kept his _phone_ on while in flight?!" America's already high pitched voice grew higher still at the prospect of his brother potentially causing a jetliner to crash. "And you still didn't answer my question about Mattie!"

England shrugged his button down back on, frowning at America worriedly.

A voice in the background suddenly cried out, it sounded angry and… _something else_.

"Hey! Was that Mattie??" America bit his bottom lip and gripped the phone. "I really need to talk to him."

"Well… you _could_…but I think he's a tad busy right now."

Francis chuckled softly, and America felt as if he was missing out on something.

"Busy doing _what_?"

There was a long silence.

"Ah! Sorry, got a bit _distracted_ there-"

"Francis, if you don't tell me what's going on _right now_-"

There was a sigh, and France was speaking to someone.

"-But he wants me to-"

Matthew's voice suddenly came through crystal clear. "No! Don't tell him _anything_-"

"_He's currently becoming a new member of the mile high club~_"

America slapped his phone shut.

"…What happened?" England asked, worry filling his voice. "Is Matthew alright?"

America winced, his little cheeks turning pink. "I…just found out my brother is joining the mile high club."

England stared at America, his shirt falling off one shoulder. "...While on the phone?? Does the _frog_ have no sense of decency??"

America stared at his phone, a frown appearing.

"…Why the _hell_ are you pouting?"

"B-because… I wanted to join it first!"

England face palmed.

"Stop your pouting! Right now we need to worry about how we're going to get to my home, not about your future prospects of joining the _mile high club_."

America picked his head up. "You think we-"

"No."

"But-"

"Forget it."

America frowned, the pout coming back in full force.

"Look-" England picked America's phone up. "We need someone to help us to get back home. Since most of the nations are most likely gone by now…" England glanced at the clock and found the time well past sundown. "Why don't we ask one of your states?"

America shook his head. "No way."

"Why not??" England dropped the phone and flung his hands in the air in anger, causing his pants _and_ underwear to fall as one. He frantically jerked them back up, his face beet red, keeping one hand on the waistband of his pants. "They look old enough to pass as a guardian, don't they?"

America, _wisely_, didn't say anything about the accident. "I can't ask my own kids for help. It's embarrassing."

"_America_…" England growled. "You have 50 of them! Surely _one_ of them won't mind! And why the _bloody hell_ do you always refer to them as your kids when they're not even-"

"-Because they're my babies!" America cried out in his little-boy-voice, showing his over-protective nature, much to England's annoyance. "And besides… that'd be like you asking your brother's for help."

England opened his mouth to yell at him once more, but quickly fell silent. Memories of his youth flooded him, back when his brother's used to torment him on a daily basis. _Hmmm… I never thought of it like that… I guess he does have a point…_

"I guess we're on our own, then?" England sighed. "The first thing we should probably do is find some clothes that fit."

"Yeah…" America slid off the bed, making sure to keep one hand on his belt. "I bet there's a gift shop downstairs that has something in our size."

"…with the tacky casino logo plastered all over, I bet." England frowned. "How are we going to walk around and pay in these over-sized clothes?"

America headed for the door, laughing and giggling in his little-boy-voice. England stared at him for a moment, old memories of America as a tiny colony filling his mind before he willingly shoved them away.

"No one will notice, they'll be too busy gawking at the cocktail waitresses in the skimpy outfits to care."

England stared at America. "They have cocktail waitresses here?"

America turned to meet England's stare, a _knowing_ smile in place. "Yeah, they do. They're nice to look at… but they only come to you if you're gambling."

"Oh. Well in _that_ case…"

America giggled again. "Don't want to boost my economy with a charitable donation that _could possibly_ have rewards?"

"Charitable donation my _arse_."

England reached for the door handle, his hand just barely reaching it to swing the door open.

Poking his head out, his blonde hair still slightly wet and messy from their _earlier activities_, England nodded back to America and rushed down the hall, trying his damndest not to trip and face-plant the carpet. America followed close behind as the two made their way to the elevators.

"Wait-!" America grabbed England's shoulder. "Do you think it's a good idea to use the elevator? I mean…what if someone joins on with us?"

"…If your _implying_ that we take the stairs, then maybe you've forgotten that we're on the 21st floor?" England growled, his pudgy cheeks, still holding the faint memory of baby fat, flushed in anger. "And if you think I'm walking down 20 flights of stairs dressed like _this_ and _barefoot_-"

"Alright-alright! Geeze… take the elevator!" America jabbed the 'down-arrow' button and impatiently waited for the elevator to come. "I'm just trying to be _careful-_"

There was a loud ding, and the double doors opened. The elevator was empty, leaving the two tiny nations to sigh in relief as they shuffled in, America stumbling over a pant leg momentarily. England stabbed his finger at the button with a huge 'C' on it, and the elevator took them down to the casino.

"This is all _your_ fault, ya know." America shot a glare over his shoulder. "You and your stupid magic."

"My _stupid magic_ is what will return us back to normal. Unless you _want_ to go to the next world meeting as a child. I'm sure _everyone_ would _love_ seeing you like that."

America pressed his lips together and continued to glare, remembering the ruined plans and evening. "Don't know why I even try."

"I often wonder the same thing." England snapped back. "You're just blind to my true power. If only you knew and saw everything I could see-"

"Sorry, but I'm not crazy. I don't talk to things that don't exist."

England clenched his fists. "There! You did it again!"

"Did what!?"

"A double negative! How many times have I _told_ you-"

"A double- what does _that_ have to do with anything??" America sputtered. "Weren't we just arguing about me not believing you-"

"There! You did it _again_!"

"Well this is how I talk! If you don't like it then don't listen!"

English cringed at the third instance and sighed in exasperation. "To think I spent _all those long years_ pounding my language into your head… and then you go and _bastardize_ it-"

Just then the elevator doors dinged and an elderly woman with fancy clothes, lots of jewelry and perfume walked in. England and America immediately moved to the opposite corner, attempting to look dignified and trying to keep their clothes _from falling off_. The elevator started up once more and the lady turned to smile at the two young boys.

England and America smiled back nervously.

"That baggy clothing… it looks a tad oversized?"

America flashed a grin, covering for England who sputtered and grasped his pants ever tighter. "This is the latest fashion! Everyone wear's clothing that's like this! It's _cool_."

The lady smiled, seeming used to this response. "I see… where are your parents?"

"Oh just down in the casino. Gambling. You know, the usual." America covered with ease. "They just leave us up in the hotel room. Probably come up all angry cause they didn't win anything-"

"Oh but that can't happen all the time, why just the other day, I won seven hundred bucks on the penny slots!"

"You won…really?" America gaped openly. "Wow… I wish our parents-"

"Not that we're _related_ or anything!" England spat out and covered America's mouth with his hands. "I'm _English_, not _American_."

"Oh I can hear the accent-… funny, but I could have _sworn_ you two were related."

"…What makes you say _that_?"

"You two look just like each other-"

"What!? I don't look like him!" America tore mouth away from England's hand. "Have you seen his eyebrows! It's like their slowly taking over his _face_-!"

"What!?" England tackled America to the floor and tried wrapping his tiny hands around America's throat. "Take that back!"

"But-…! Its true-!"

America fought back, trying to shove England off him.

The elderly lady just stood and stared at the two with an amused smile.

Just then the elevator dinged twice and the doors opened. The lady bid her company farewell and left the two boys wrestling on the floor of the elevator floor, one gasping and trying to throw the other off, while the other sputtered out a string of curse words and insults that would make a sailor blush.

* * *

"There's the shop," America pointed across the lobby, filled with fancy marble floors, plants, and the chimes and whistles of the several hundred slot machines, to a glass storefront. "We'll make a run for it-!"

England grabbed America's arm before he jumped off into a sprint. "Yes, go ahead and run. I'll wait here and watch you fall on your face."

America frowned at him. "Well what _else_ are we going to do! We have to be quick or else someone will see us-"

"Are you worrying about those people on the slots or the security guard? Because I _highly_ doubt those people will be turning their heads anytime soon. They look like they might start drooling if they were anymore transfixed."

America rolled his eyes. "Well… wait for the guard to turn his head and just walk _really fast_ and we should make it."

England nodded, somewhat happy with the thrown together plan. America counted to three and the two shuffled across the lobby, America nearly losing his shirt on the way and England tripping two more times. They entered the store, greeted by tunes from a local radio station, and made a beeline for the _children's_ clothing section.

America reached for a black shirt and held it up to his chest. England browsed the through the other clothing racks, his focused stare growing more and more annoyed.

"Is this _all_ they have? Shirts and… athletic bottoms??" England sighed and tore a dark blue shirt off the rack with the smallest logo. "Can't wait to get back to normal."

"Man it must be tough, having to wear _comfortable_ clothes and all." America filed through pants rack, picking a matching black pair. "I don't know _how_ you do it."

England glared at him and sent him a you'll-pay-for-that-later look. "Belt up, gitface."

America smiled cheekily and headed for the dressing rooms. Minutes later he came back out in the form-fitting clothing, his once toned physique now soft with childhood. America, with his old clothes in hand, walked back to where England was, who had seemingly already changed. The two each found a cheap pair of flip flops and shuffled up to the cash register, their _adult_ clothes bundled under their arms.

A girl, dressed in the generic, designed-to-be-uncomfortable casino uniform, flipped through a tabloid gossip magazine and popped her gum.

America stood still for a moment, waiting for her to notice him before he spoke up. "Hey, we'd like to pay for these clothes."

The girl finally looked up; confusion flooded her gaze momentarily before she tilted her head downward. "…You wanna pay for the clothes your wearing?"

"Why _else_ would we be standing here?" England dead panned. "For shits and giggles?"

America waved a hand at England and flashed a huge, albeit nervous grin at the teenager. "Haha! Don't mind him!"

The girl raised an eyebrow at the 8-year-old child with huge eyebrows, taken back by his language. "You know… you're not supposed in here unsupervised."

America interjected once more, instantly – _and easily_ - coming up with a white lie. "Our parents are out gambling. We spilled our drinks on our old clothes so they just sent us to buy new-"

"Kids are _supposed_ to be left at the Kidzone near the entrance."

America stared at her and frantically dug his wallet out. _If she thinks she can just dump us off at a daycare-… why can she just let us pay for our clothes_??

"Look, here's the money, keep the change!" America flung the two fifty dollar bills at her, grabbed England, and tried running from the shop when he nearly collided into the legs of a security guard. "Wha-... oh."

"Hey George, take 'em back to Kidzone for me?"

The girl took the money and stuck it in the register, pocketing the change.

"They must have gotten loose."

*****

A/n: Just one extra tidbit before I embarrass myself in posting this, but the part with the old lady winning 700$ on a penny slot machine actually happened to my best friend's grandmother. I wish that could happen to me D:


	2. Chapter 2

**Double Trouble  
By: Verin Mystal  
**Summary: Alfred invites Arthur to the Consumer Electronics's show in Las Vegas. On their last night in town, they are accidentally turned into children.  
Note: This was originally written for two requests on the Kink Meme. This fic is full of crack and is not meant to be taken seriously. With that said, I hope someone out there enjoys it. I own nothing but the crack filled ideas of this story.

_**A/n:** I hope I got some of the British slang correct. I had nothing to use, save for the internet, and we all know how reliable **that** can be :(_

* * *

England was a nation with a thousand years of history. He had seen Rome, the huge, battle scarred nation in the last few hundred years of his life. He had survived the dark ages, the black death, invasion, fought endless wars and battles, raised dozens of colonies, traveled the world as a huge empire, dealt with squabbling independence-declaring children, seen the horrors of the world wars… he was a nation of honor and quiet strength.

England sat on a neon yellow plastic chair, arms crossed over his chest, and listened to the screaming American children running around him.

"Never… in _all my long years_ have I been so insulted."

"This is _your_ fault. We wouldn't even be here if it hadn't been for that stupid potion of yours."

"Well _maybe_ if you would have left me alone to take an ice bath in peace-!"

"Oh so it's _my_ fault?" America glared at him. "Sorry, but I didn't see you resisting too hard when I was sucking on your-!"

"-Because you never know when to quit!" England huffed and turned away, trying to refocus himself on the current situation at hand. "We need to get out of here."

"Too bad that lady is standing near the _only_ exit." America grumbled.

"A distraction then." England stood and started searching through the throng of children, becoming desperate. "That's easy enough."

"…What are you going to do?" America asked, his large blue eyes suspicious.

England smirked, but it came out cheesy on his soft, youthfully round face. "Watch me. Oh, and be ready to tattle."

Finding the tallest child with the biggest mouth, England marched up to him and, putting his entire body into it, shoved the kid into a group of boys. The boys cried out in surprised and turned to glare at England, who was far smaller in stature. England stood as tall as his three feet 2 inches could and insulted the other boy's intelligence _and_ his mother in the same sentence; a brawl broke out and the kids all flocked around.

America stared for a moment in slight surprise. _I wonder… England seems kind of… __**experienced**__ at this…? I bet it's from him dealing with his brothers…_

America then rushed up to the lady, who was glued to her cell phone, and patted her arm. "Hey! Uh… Lady! There's a fight."

The tiny nation pointed behind him at the brawl of screaming and yelling children.

"What did I say about bothering me- Oh!" The lady quickly hung up and rushed over to the group. America followed, trying to extract England from the brawl when another boy suddenly grabbed America's hair, specifically _Nantucket_, and pulled.

"Gaah!" America fell to his knees and grabbed the hand that was pulling on Nantucket, cursing his weakness."S-stop! England-"

England, hearing America, crashed into the hair-pulling boy and grabbed his hand. "Let go!"

The boy wrestled with the two of them, all of them yelling and kicking and biting.

"Ah! I-I…can't…" America dug his fingernails into the boy and wondered how he, who could bench press steam engines, could be reduced to nothing but a quivering, bumbling mess with just one pull of his stray hair. "Let…go…!"

"Bloody_ tosser_, let-!"

There was a sudden explosion of smoke. The dark, murky blackness filled the room and within seconds, fire alarms were screeching. There were shouts and confusion, hacking and coughing. England grabbed America's hand and dragged him away, trying to get out of the choking blackness. Heading in the general direction of the exit, England made it past the glitzy glass and gold-trim doors and outside, past the drop-off zone and into the parking, where he finally stopped to breath and cough up the remains of the smoke from his lungs.

"Guh…" England croaked intelligently, his red, irritated eyes watering. "What the _hell_ was _that_?"

"Goodness… what _happened_?" Came a soft, feminine voice from behind him. "…And look at all these cars… I don't think I've ever seen so many! Are we in New York?"

England froze, dread overcoming him at the thought of having pulled the wrong person out and turned around.

A young teenager sat on the pavement before him. Her golden hair, both wavy and curly, reached the middle of her neck. A dark green gown, looking oddly _Greek_ inspired, was draped around her. Atop her head sat a crown that looked oddly similar to… to…

England gawked._ No __**bloody**__ way... this can't be right..._

The girl looked at him for a moment before recognition flashed.

"Artie?"

"A-artie??" England sputtered. "W-what… how…??"

The teenager smiled and took his tiny hands within her own. "You _must_ be England… right? We've never met but… my kids have told me all about you! Although… you're much smaller… and _younger_ than I expected…"

"Y-your kids??" England's voice raised a couple decibels. "You mean… the states?"

"Of course, who else would I mean?" The lady smiled and squeezed his hands. "Now Artie-"

"-_England_-" _…She calls them her __**kids**__ too??..._

"-tell me where we are? I can't remember anything from America's memories."

England pulled his hands away, his round cheeks flushing at the contact. _America has an alter ego like me? I wonder why he never told me…_

"First of all… who _are_ you… exactly?"

"Well… my _official_ title is Lady Liberty. But all my states call me mom… oh it feels like it's been forever since I last saw them!" England could help but notice a slight southern drawl to her accent. "I wonder how they're faring still…"

England's huge green eyes trailed down her form, pausing a moment at her chest. _Soft…_

"Artie?"

England tore his eyes away from her curvaceous figure, flushing pink. _I'm a child now, remember?! I can't be gawking…_

"We're in Las Vegas." England stated as if that explained everything. "You invited me to some electronics expo…"

The girl blinked and looked around. "This… is Las Vegas? Las Vegas… _Nevada_??"

"Yes. We're _in_ Nevada."

"Why that can't be possible! This town was just a bump in the road… Nevada is still so little!"

England narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Liberty… what year is this? Do you remember?"

"Well… the last I remember it was 1922-"

"1922??" England gasped. "It's been _that_ long?"

Liberty stared at England in concern. "What year is it now?"

"…Um… 2010."

The girl gasped. "No! 2010?? Wow… no wonder everything looks so _different_! Golly…"

Just then the screeching fire-engine sirens blared from a short distance away, speeding towards the smoking casino. The girl jumped and grabbed onto England, but instead of clinging to him in fear,_ as England secretly hoped but would go to his grave before admitting_, she held onto him protectively, mashing England's body into her chest. Silently, he cursed his rotten luck and damned his child-body.

"That noise! What… is that a fire truck??"

England rolled his eyes and tried prying her arms from around him, only to find out she seemed to be gifted with America's insane strength as well. "Ah… Yes. Can you… let me go?"

"Oh! Sorry." Liberty released him. "So… Artie… tell me why you're so young? My kids told me-"

"America and I drank accidentally drank this potion and it turned us into children." England interjected. "We tried getting clothes, got sent to daycare by some louse, and while we were trying to escape some…_child_ was pulling on your hair… there was smoke and… here we are."

* * *

Several hours passed before the casino allowed guests back into their rooms. By then, it was well past midnight, and England was dead on his feet.

"Lets… go back to our room." England yawned loudly and gripped Liberty's hand. "We're on the… 21st floor… room 385…"

Liberty nodded and escorted England into the building, no one batting an eyelash at her strange dress and head gear. Taking the elevator, they traveled up to their floor, and found their room, still a mess from earlier.

It was then when England realized there was one bed.

_I… this is America. We've been __**together**_ _for decades now. Well- it's his alter ego but… I can't just sleep in the __**same bed**__ as her… could I?_

England flushed and stared at the bed, the sheets rumbled and twisted from his _earlier activities_ with _America_.

_I should sleep on the floor… but I'm a child. That should make it okay. Right? …But I'm still a man. In a child's body. I should sleep on the floor. It would be the right thing to do._

Lady Liberty carefully took her crown off and set it on the bedside table alongside Texas, which miraculously seemed to morph and changed size to fit both young America's face _and_ Lady Liberty's face. Then she reached up and swept the green gown off her shoulders, leaving her in nothing but a white shift that barely concealed her breasts and left nothing else to the imagination.

She turned to England, who was currently standing _very_ still, his evergreen eyes transfixed.

"Are you coming to bed, Artie?"

England stared at the beautiful girl, cursed his child body for the hundredth time that night and threw his gentlemanly-morals to the wind.

"C-coming."

* * *

England awoke the next morning to sunlight, warmth and something soft mashing into his face. Peeling his eyelids open, he found that sometime during the night, Liberty had wrapped her arms around him and clutched him to her chest as if he were some stuffed animal… not that England was complaining. A soft, contented sigh escaped and, feeling a rising tide of childish glee, took advantage of the current situation to admire the glorious soft flesh that was right in his face and barely covered by a white shift. Of course, England loved America's male-self, both his overly confident, intoxicating personality and his attractiveness… even if he was getting a tad soft around the belly… but England found that cute and endearing.

_Not that he was going to admit that to America anytime soon_.

A soft sigh escaped past Liberty's pink lips. England flushed, his round cheeks turning red as he, guiltily, refocused his gaze back to her chest. It was a commonly known fact among the former colonies England raised and took care of that he was rather fond of the female body, specifically the chest region. It was something England had tried to keep a secret from America, but to his amusement, found America held a similar fascination with them. Something about their roundness… and softness… England just couldn't get over it.

England let his face rest on one, using it as a pillow, and sighed. Once they got passed this mess, he would have to have a little… _discussion_… with America in regards to his _female_ other-self.

Yawning, he slowly sat up and looked at the clock. The red digits glared back at him.

"Nine-o'clock… never slept in this late for** years**…" Smacking his lips, England placed his tiny, pudgy hand on Liberty, carefully avoiding her chest, and shook her gently. "Wake up… we have go to the airport…"

"Mmmmmm~" Liberty groaned and turned over. "Don't wanna….five more minutes…"

England rolled his eyes. It seemed that Liberty and America are almost carbon copies, as this is what happened with England on a daily basis. Trying to get America out of bed before ten-o'clock was a miraculous undertaking that often ended up in England dumping ice water on his face.

"Wake up _now_! The earlier we get to the air port the better!"

Liberty groaned, but slowly sat up, her hair slightly messy from sleeping on it. "Airport… Wouldn't it be better to take a ship from the east coast to your home?"

England paused for a moment, suddenly remembering the year she last remembered. "Well… technology has come a long way since 1922."

"You mean… you can fly across the Atlantic? A passenger plane?"

"Yes, it happens all the time now."

Liberty let out a surprised "oh" and slide from the bed, seeming excited at this new development. After the two got cleaned up and dressed, England and Liberty packed their belongings and headed down to the parking lot. Packing their gear into the car, England frowned, knowing he was too small to be able to drive.

"Liberty…do you know how to drive?"

"Why of course I do!" Liberty glared at him and looked offended. "I'm a free woman, and it's my right to drive."

England raised a brow at that. "Right… Well then do you think you can drive this car?"

He waved at the rented hybrid car sitting before them. Liberty looked it over with a roll of her eyes. "I can drive _any_ car, Artie."

"Ah…" England hesitated for a moment, but felt it was _imperative_ to ask this. "I'm curious… but… who taught you how to drive?"

"Moonshine runners!"

England stared at her and suddenly felt very afraid.

* * *

Liberty sat in the driver's seat of the car. She stared at all the knobs and buttons, running her fingers over them as if she were searching for something.

"Need any help?" England inquired as he climbed into the passenger seat. "Feel free to ask any questions."

"Well…" Liberty pursed her lips and frowned. "I can't find the ignition… you have keys right?"

"You don't need to use a key anymore. You just press that button to start the car."

Liberty gawked at him. "No way… I just press this button and…"

Liberty jabbed the button and the dashboard lit up. "Whoa! What is that thing!" She touched the monitor that was sunken into the dashboard, which was currently displaying all of her gauges. The screen suddenly changed to the radio station selection at her touching. "W-wha-?"

"It's like having a tele in your car, you know-" England suddenly realized she came from a time that was before television was invented. "Right, um… nevermind." He touched the screen to bring up the gauges. "This is your speedometer, the petrol-"

"I know, I know about that." Liberty waved at him. "Now where's the clutch-"

"This is an automatic transmission. There is no clutch." England felt himself growing more and more nervous by the second and pointed to the tiny knob sticking out of the dashboard. "This is where you shift to reverse, drive, or park."

"Park? Well we are parked."

"No, I mean park is the gear we're in now." England bit his lip and wondered if he should just call a taxi. "In park, the brakes are on, keeping the car from moving."

"Ohh so they have _that_ now? Huh, before we'd just put it in reverse!" Liberty grabbed the knob to put the car in reverse when England grabbed her hand. "Well what is it now, ya wet blanket!"

"W-wet…" England decided to let that one go. "You have to put your seat belt on."

"Seat belt?"

"…That strap by your door." England pointed to it and felt something akin to terror bubbling in his gut. "You thread your left arm through it, bring it across your chest and put it here…"

England helped her and Liberty moved around slightly in her seat. "This is really uncomfortable… I don't wanna wear it."

"I believe it is against the law here to _not_ wear a seat belt."

"Oh don't be such a pill, I've been on the lam before." With that said, Liberty tore the seat belt off.

England waited two seconds before sighing in annoyance. "Can you _please_ keep the slang to a minimum? I could hardly understand a word-"

"Don't be so annoying, I've run from the cops before." Liberty repeated without the old fashioned slang. "Remember? I learned to drive from the moonshiners. I know what I'm doing."

"…Do you _really_?" England trembled, tore his seatbelt across him and jammed it into the lock. "I'm ready." _…I'm __**not**__ ready. I'm not __**bloody**__ ready at all! If I manage to make it home in one piece, I'm going to clean my basement out and reorganize my potions and drink that bottle of scotch I've been saving since the 60s…_

Liberty smiled and put the car into reverse, driving out of the spot smoothly, put it into drive and drove out of the parking lot. "Where do I go now?"

England pulled the map out of the front storage console and poured over it for a moment. "Right… I think we're _here_… so… if we take this beltway-" _…It __**should**__ read Orbital Motorway… damn American English…_

"What's a beltway?"

"It's like a highway."

"…What's a highway?"

England lowered the map and stared at her. Liberty tried smiling back. "What?"

"…Nothing. Y-you'll find out soon enough… I suppose…"

England pulled the map back up and, after gaining some perspective, told Liberty to take a left. Liberty followed his directions exactly, slowly figuring out the current driving systems in place. Finally the two came to the turn that led to the beltway. England swallowed and explained the concept of _speed limits_ to her.

"Speed limits?" Liberty scowled and gripped the wheel. "Well that's no fun."

"It's not about _having fun_! It's about not crashing-"

"Oh I won't crash. I'm a _very_ skilled driver."

England resisted the urge to press his hands to his face. "That's not the _point_ but… I guess that's… good?"

The light turned green and Liberty jammed her foot to the accelerator, taking the tight turn at a speed that left England smashed to the right side of the car, and quickly drove down the ramp to the three lanes of busy traffic. Liberty wove the high-tech hybrid car through traffic as smoothly as threading a needle, still accelerating.

"Would you _slow down_ before you kill us both!?" England shouted at her, his little-boy voice cracking slightly. "Remember what I told you about the speed limits here??"

"Well you said we're in a hurry right? Well I'm hurrying!"

"We're going to be-"

The sudden blaring of sirens exploded behind them.

"Aw damn! I think I can out-run 'em-"

"Don't outrun them you _bloody __**fool**_! Slow down and pull over!"

_…I __**knew**__ I should've called a taxi… what the hell was I thinking…?!_

Liberty glared at him, but complied and pulled over onto the wide shoulder. The heat of the day was slowly making its presence, the distance line of gaudy casino's glittering in the distance. She rolled her window down and put the car into park, waiting for the cop to come to the window.

"I don't know why you're so worried." Liberty said with a scowl. "I'll have them call Nevada and he'll bail us out."

England groaned and cradled his face in his hands. _I'm doomed to remain an eight year old for the rest of my life._

"Look, Liberty, we need a cover story. Your name is Alice Jones and I'm your kid-"

There were footsteps and a bulky man with black shades leaned down to eye Liberty and England.

"You know how fast you were going?"

"No, not really. I wasn't paying much attention."

"The speed limit says 65, but you were doing 90."

"Oh was I? Wow these little cars certainly pack some punch don't they!"

The cop stared at her, his mouth a thin line and completely un-amused. England sat in his seat, cringing and cursing his rotten luck.

"License and registration please."

Liberty shifted. "I'll be honest. I don't have a license."

"Can you step out of the vehicle?" Liberty paused a moment, shooting a look at England before opened the door and being motioned to stand over at the police cruiser.

England cursed and started digging through his pockets for America's cell phone he kept. America may not like it when he comes back, but right now he really needed some help. Help in the form of an adult who was with the times and had connections. Opening the phone, he scrolled down the huge list of contacts and finally came across the number he was looking for. Jabbing the send button, he held the phone to his ear, finally thankful for his short stature, as the cop couldn't see him, and listened to the dial tone.

After the fifth ring, a voice of a young man, possibly an older teenager, picked up.

"Someone had _better_ be dying Dad because I just left a _really_ important budget meeting-"

"W-wait! This is Nevada? Right??"

"…Yes. This is Nevada…" The voice suddenly turned hostile. "Who the hell is this and why are you using my Dad's cell phone?"

"Look, just let me explain before you start making assumptions." England got out in a single breath. "This is England. You may or may not know, but America invited me to the Consumer Electronics show. Earlier, America and I accidentally drank something that I _thought_ was wine but turned out to be this potion that turned us into kids and I can't change us back without going back to my house. A lot of stuff happened, America turned into Lady Liberty, we tried driving to the airport but got pulled over by a cop-"

"Whoa, whoa, mom is out??" Nevada gasped. "Who the hell yanked on Nantucket?"

"It's… a really long story."

"Damnit, can't believe this crap…" There was an exhausted sigh. "Fine-fine… I'll make some calls and have the cop take you to the sheriff's office…"

England let out a sigh of relief for the first time in 12 hours. "Thank you."

"I'll have to go there and sign you out in person… ya know, a security thing…"

"Yes, of course. Thank you."

England hung up and stuffed the phone back into his pocket. Taking advanced precaution, he took some precious valuables and stuffed them into his pockets. Glancing in the rear-view mirror, he saw Liberty, who was in handcuffs, and the cop arguing about something when the cop cut off and answered his radio. Minutes passed before a look of surprise crossed his face and he motioned for Liberty to get into the backseat of the police cruiser, much to her annoyance. After dealing with her, the cop came to England's door, motioning for him to get out. England slide out of the car, noticing for the first time that adults seemed to lower their guard around him more often than when he was an adult, and climbed into the police cruiser beside Liberty.

"I _told_ you to be careful." England glared at her. "But no, you _never_ listen. You and America _both_. Honestly, don't know _why_ I put up with you-"

"If you're so annoyed, then why _do_ you put up with us?"

England opened his mouth, but found he couldn't quite answer her question without lying. Sighing, he chose to stare out the window and watch the lone, solitary cloud float across the sky before the sun slowly burned it away.

England felt like that cloud.

* * *

The two of them sat in hard plastic chairs in a plain lobby. Liberty held a colorful fashion magazine, ogling the new fashions with disdain. England plucked at a thread that was coming loose at the bottom of his shirt. Neither spoke to one another since they left the police cruiser. England sighed for the 6th time that morning and stared at an invisible point on the wall.

_This will be a great trip_, America had promised him. _We'll see all the newest gadgets I've been telling you about! It'll be fun, I __**promise**__._

So far the entire trip had only been one huge annoyance. When they first arrived, America dragged him to the convention center only minutes after unpacking, where they spent the last two days of the electronics show walking around, reading pamphlets, meeting Japan and China and several other nations, walking through the endless booths and hallways filled with giant posters and wall-sized flat screens. England took it all in, enjoying the buzzing atmosphere and the general feeling of communion that seemed to flood the rooms, where everyone was interested in technology and development, rather than politics. It was a nice change for England, but… it wasn't what he was looking for in vacation. By the end of the second day he was utterly exhausted and only wanted to be left alone in silence, having been drug all over by America since dawn.

The double doors suddenly squeaked open, breaking England from his train of thought. A young man, looking to be no more than 16 years, strolled into the room. He was in professional dress, a blue button down and black pants, but the sleeves were rolled up, the tie loose, his brown hair was messy and looked slept in, and a cigarette hung from his mouth. His blue eyes focused on him, then moved to Liberty when he finally came to a stop before them.

_So this is Nevada? He kind of… reminds me of Spain…_ England eyed him and felt a wave of amusement wash over him. _He's worse than America at dressing professionally…_

"…Hey mom."

Liberty looked up and after a second, smiled. "Nevada…?"

She stood up, throwing the fashion magazine away, went to the teenager and swept him into a hug. Nevada returned the hug with a nervous smile, extracting the cigarette from his mouth. England remained frozen in the chair, his small legs dangling, and tried to ignore the odd family reunion.

"Its… been a while- and your still smoking I see." Liberty frowned at him. "You know… that's really bad for you and-"

"Yeah, you and Dad both." Nevada deadpanned. "He says the same thing about my smoking and gambling and drinking- …look, Mom, I need to talk to England for a second. Why don't you go up to the nice secretary over there and get signed out?"

Liberty eyed him suspiciously, glancing to England for a second and then back to Nevada. "…Alright, if you insist…"

Once Liberty left for the front desk, Nevada headed over to England, who was glaring at some point in space, looking miserable and pouting all at once.

"Long day?"

"You have _no_ idea." England deadpanned and turned his glare onto the state. "I just want to go home so I can clear this mess up."

"So you've never met Dad's other self?"

"No. He never told me anything about her."

England felt oddly upset at that and had no idea why.

The desert state glanced to Liberty once more before taking a seat beside England. "Since you probably already know about what era she comes from I'll skip that. Mom comes out whenever someone yanks on Nantucket too hard. She has… almost the same personality and strength as Dad but… she also has this power-"

"Power? Like a gift?" England suddenly thought of his other self, Britannia. "She doesn't grant wishes, does she?"

"No… more like she has this undying need to help people fulfill their dreams." Nevada brought the cigarette to his lips, taking a slow drag before exhaling. "She doesn't have magic… it's more like a… 6th sense I guess. All I know is she gets this look in her eyes and can't be bothered to do anything else until she feels she's helped someone fulfill their dream. Or so… that's what the other states say."

"Does she change back?" England liked Liberty, but he really, _really_ wanted America back. He wanted to go home, grab his wand and spell book and turn everything back to normal. "Is there any way to have America come back?"

Nevada hesitated for a moment. "That's… well… we don't know."

England felt something drop to the pit of his stomach. "…What?"

"We know how Dad changes, but we don't know how to have him come back. See… according to the southern states, after Dad _changed_, Liberty got involved with some Moonshiner's and wanted to help them achieve their _dreams_. She stayed with them for _five years_. It wasn't until Virginia went to check up on her that she found Dad back to normal."

England gawked at the state openly. "…No. There _has_ to be a way to make America come back. He can't just _stay_ like this for-"

"You shouldn't have a problem though, seeing as how she's already attached herself to you."

"…I… what?"

"I could see it the moment I walked in. She wants to help you. Maybe… her helping you until you solve this problem will cause her to change back to Dad?" Nevada wondered out loud, taking another drag. "Sometimes I wish Dad's alter-ego didn't even-"

"Finished signing us out!" Liberty strolled across the room towards them, her green dress fluttering about her ankles. "Anything else we need to do before we go?"

England stared at Nevada with wide eyes. _I wish… a wish… why didn't I realize this sooner?!_

"If you two want a quick flight out of here, I could probably work my contacts and get you two some nice seats in first class to Washington D.C if you like?"

Liberty smiled. "That's great, right England? From there we could-"

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary!"

England slide from the chair and looked up at Liberty and Nevada.

"I just realized something."

"Realized what?" Nevada asked, eyeing England in slight suspicion.

England met Nevada's gaze and came to the realization that if he did anything to unintentionally hurt Lady Liberty, this state would not hesitate in gathering his other siblings to participate in a little dosage of vigilante justice.

"It's… well… I can't really say here."

The state didn't look convinced. "Its safe here."

"Really, I think-"

"Its _safe_ here." And the state turned to look at the secretary, who quickly snatched her coffee up and scurried away. "Go on."

"Right…" England moved on, not wanting to dwell on what just happened. "I also have something similar to America, where I have this… other persona. The other difference is I can grant wishes."

It took two seconds before Liberty reacted. "Hey that's great! You can change and I could wish for you to take us to your home!"

Nevada didn't look convinced. "Wishes? It would happen… just like that?"

_…Not believing in my magic skills… just like __**America**__…_

"It's true. It would happen instantly."

Liberty smiled. "I believe you. Its okay Nevada, we'll get this taken care of. Go back to your meeting."

"But-… wait, how'd you know-?"

"Don't worry! Go back to your budget meeting, they need your input."

Nevada was rendered speechless and simply nodded. "Well… alright? You have my number. Call me if you need anything...?"

Liberty watched the teen leave, and turned back to England.

"So, what's the plan?"

* * *

Notes:

**1. **Moonshine runners were typically young men who delivered Moonshine during the prohibition years in the twenties. They used to upgrade their cars to "hot rods" so they could outrun the cops. D:

**2. **The reason for Nevada's bad-guy theme is because 1) Nevada is known for its high rate of people who smoke (this also goes hand in hand with gambling addiction and drinking and driving incidents) 2) Nevada's political history is deep with bad politics. There hass been many instances of voter fraud, black mail, sex scandals… (you name it, it's probably happened) and 3) Nevada has a rich history of dealing with the Italian mafia out of New York. Las Vegas and Reno were used to help raise money for the organization in New York. The mob was mostly kicked out in the 60s and 70s… or _were_ they?


	3. Chapter 3

**Double Trouble  
By: Verin Mystal  
**Summary: Alfred invites Arthur to the Consumer Electronics's show in Las Vegas. On their last night in town, they are accidentally turned into children.  
Note: This was originally written for two requests on the Kink Meme. This fic is full of crack and is not meant to be taken seriously. With that said, I hope someone out there enjoys it. I own nothing but the crack filled ideas of this story.

* * *

England stared at Lady Liberty, and gave serious thought to his sanity.

"…Do you understand what I'm saying?" England asked, hoping he was clear enough. "I'm putting my _full_ trust in you to guide and use Britannia as I've instructed."

Liberty nodded, her blue eyes sparkling. "Stop worrying so much! I can handle this, trust me."

Swallowing a skeptical comment, England stepped away and glanced about the lobby before his eyes landed on the men's room. "Then… I'll be just a moment."

Liberty watched as he rushed to the restroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Waiting patiently, she slowly counted to thirty, just as England had instructed. Upon reaching the last digit, she walked towards the bathroom and yanked the door open.

White smoke billowed out of the room and assaulted her senses. Covering her face and coughing, she waved her hand and stepped away, waiting for the smoke to clear when a figure emerged. Britannia, in adult form, stumbled out of the smoke. Shaking his head softly, as if to clear out invisible cobwebs, he moved forward out of the smoke and into the lobby, complete with white toga, two large wings, a star-wand clutched in his right hand, and finally, a golden halo floating harmlessly over his head.

Lowering her hands from her face, Liberty smiled and moved towards him.

_...So this is what England would look like if he was his normal, adult self._ Heat curled in her chest, a fluttering, gentle feeling.

"Britannia, there you are!"

Upon hearing his name, the man jumped in surprised and turned his wide evergreen eyes to the girl. "You… who…?"

Liberty stuck her hand out. "I'm Lady Liberty, and you?"

Britannia stared at her hand in question, and then returned his gaze back to her face. "Lady… Liberty? You're not a nation?"

"I'm America's _other-self_… at least that's what England kept saying. He mentioned I was like you…?" Liberty made an exaggerated shrug and smiled brilliantly. "But don't worry about all that. I've heard so much about you!"

"You have?" Britannia questioned, and looked Liberty over... taking in her wavy and slightly curly blond hair, sky-bue eyes, pink lips... and eyeing the seven-spiked crown atop her head, the green gown draped across her shoulders… the way it accented her feminine curves and allowed just a hint of her bosom to show… a pink hue flooded his cheeks. _"_I haven't heard anything about you."

_...That's because you probably know me by my __**real**__ name, Columbia... but you don't have to know that..._

"Well… The last time I appeared was in 1922 so it's been a while!" Liberty tried reaching for Britannia's left hand, but the magical being shrank away, shyness poured off of him in waves. "Oh come on, I won't hurt ya! Besides, I have a wish I would love for you to grant."

"I-I know… but… you're not a nation."

Liberty blinked. "…Um, yes, I'm not a nation. Is that a problem?"

"I can only grant wishes to nations."

Liberty frowned. England never mentioned this.

"Why… are you sure about that?"

"It's a series of rules I have to follow." Liberty nodded; it made sense to have a set of rules when you had the power to grant wishes. "I can only grant wishes to Nations; people like you and me, and normal humans… are not allowed."

"Well…" _…I have to think of something to make England's dream come true. He's counting on me! _"Britannia, the wish I wanted to ask is very important."

"Yes well… that's what they all say…" Britannia spoke matter-of-factly, looking like he heard that a lot. "But I have to follow the rules or else-"

"Or else… you'll get in trouble? By… the queen?"

Britannia's gaze widened considerably. "You know about… _her_?"

"_She whose name is not to be uttered_… yep." Liberty smiled and decided not to tell Britannia that she never listened to the rules which all magical beings were _obliged_ to follow. Besides, following the rules was boring. "I know all about her."

_...And she's never liked me very much..._

"Then… you understand why I can't-"

Liberty pressed a finger to his lips when voices came from up the hall past the lobby. Deciding the lobby was no longer safe, she gripped Britannia's hand and pulled him into the men's restroom, closing the door behind them and locking it. "There, now no one can interrupt us."

"Interrupt us from what?"

Liberty turned around and found Britannia flushing a brilliant pink hue.

_Is he…blushing?_ Liberty gazed at him, studying the pink flush that appeared to be spreading from his face under the intensity of her gaze. _He __**is**__ blushing!_

She stepped forward, and Britannia took a step back. Eyes narrowing, she wondered why Britannia was acting like a nervous bunny, ready to bound away at a moment's notice. "Do I remind you of someone?"

He looked up at that, eyes wide and curious. "Well… it's just that… I thought I already met Alfie's _other-self_… Columbia… but… you call yourself Lady Liberty?" His brow furrowed. "You remind me of her, but… you're different. You're clothes are strange and that crown…? It's been a long while since I've seen her, I admit…"

_…Around one hundred fifty years ago… 1860… Alfred changed after finding out that his precious southern children left… you found me broken in the corner…_ Liberty swallowed, trying to will the memories away. _You held me… and let me cry on you._

Liberty moved across the room, her feet, encased in leather sandals, clicked against the white tile until she came to a stop before Britannia. The angel backed up as the lady moved closer, moving away until his wings hit the wall. Liberty paused a moment before gather his hands together within her own and held them to her generous bosoms.

"Britannia… the wish I'm asking isn't from me. It's from Arthur and Alfred. It's _their_ wish."

Britannia swallowed, his eyes wavered, and appeared to be struggling to keep them on her face. "But… the rules…"

"Please Britannia."

Britannia lowered his eyes to his hands, an internal struggle going on within his evergreen eyes. A moment passed before he raised them. "Alright. If it's truly from Arthur and Alfred… then… I suppose I'll grant it. But… on _one_ condition."

Happiness bubbling in her chest, she squeezed his hands, and grinned. "I'll do anything!"

Britannia returned his gaze to her face, their eyes meeting. "Tell me what happened to Columbia…and why she disappeared after Alfred's Civil war?"

Liberty felt her smile fade. _…I should have expected this, I suppose._

"Okay. I promise… Grant the wish… and I'll tell you." _…Because I'm not sure how you'll react when you find out…_

Liberty nodded. "Alright then, what is the wish?"

"I wish you and I were at England's personal home." Liberty stated carefully, remembering the specific wording England forced her to repeat several times.

Britannia blinked. "That…that's it?"

Liberty nodded. "Yep. That's their wish!"

"Oh… well… I thought it might have been something more serious, considering it came from Arthur _and_ Alfred."

"It is serious but… it's a long story. I'll tell you all about it… in time."

Britannia nodded, his eyes curious, and raised his wand.

There was a sudden flash of blinding light, a dull roar flooding her ears, and then darkness consumed them both.

Gasping, Liberty opened her eyes and looked around. Flowers and roses surrounded them. The air felt thick with water, very much unlike the dry desert air, and tasted of fresh grass and sweet rose dew.

"England's garden." Britannia announced with a smile. "You didn't specify exactly where you wanted to be… and this is my favorite place… so I brought us here."

Liberty gazed at the green grass and rose bushes that surrounded them and returned the smile. "I can see why you like it so much!" Moving away from him, she stepped to a cleared, grassy area and knelt on the ground, falling into a cross-legged position. "Why don't we… sit... so I can fulfill my promise?"

Britannia watched her curiously for a moment before he followed and took a seat beside her. Liberty pressed the green satin-like fabric between her fingers, rolling it against each other nervously. Liberty swallowed the lump down her throat, where it settled into an uncomfortable ball within her chest.

"You… wished to know what happened to Colombia?"

"Yes." Britannia's voice came clearly. "The last I saw her was so long ago. It was sometime during Alfred's Civil War… she…"

Britannia's voice fell away as Liberty stared into the grass at her feet.

_Bloody Lane… Antietam… Union…_ Those words echoed through her mind as she remembered coming to in a ditch beside a road. She looked down and found herself covered in a dark blue uniform, dirtied and soaked in blood. Breathing short, gasping breathes, she gingerly touched her belly, and it felt as if she were rubbing her fingers in ground beef. Throat clenching, she woodenly turned over; the muscles in her abdomen not working properly, and propped herself up with her hands and rifle. Along the road were thousands of dead bodies… Union… Confederate… she stared at them and found no difference. _…I wandered away from the woods and collapsed on the banks of Antietam creek… I sat against the tree and you came to me…_ Britannia knelt beside her and stared at her body. Reaching forward, he touched her belly, her arm, her face and caressed her cheek, brushing the matted, gold locks away.

He called her name, _Colombia_, and told her to make the wish he'd offered years ago at the beginning_. I don't care for the rules_, he'd said after she questioned him, _I don't like to see you broken_. She'd refused, and told him this wasn't something that could be solved with a wish. _I am Union… I have to fight… even if it will be the death of me_. Britannia recoiled harshly, his evergreen eyes angry. Standing, he cursed her stupidity and thick-headedness, and stormed off in a cloud of smoke.

"Liberty… _Liberty_…"

She looked up and turned to focus on Britannia. "I _was_ Colombia… but… I am Lady Liberty now. I have Colombia's memories and physical looks…but I have my own personality… Lady Liberty's personality."

Britannia's eyes widened, his body growing still.

"You probably know… at least from when you've talked to Alfred… that his Civil War changed him. Before the war and then after the war… he's different. The same happened with Colombia. I guess… you _could_ say she… died, but… when Francis gave Alfred the Statue of Liberty for his 100th birthday… well…" Liberty waved her arm about, pointing to her crown and gown. "This is what you get."

"You're…?" Britannia swallowed thickly. "You were… Colombia?"

Liberty nodded and grasped his left hand, tugging it to her lap. "I was… but now I'm Lady Liberty."

"I… You…"

"I know." Liberty tugged him closer to her and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You don't have to say anything."

Britannia pulled his left arm from her grip and wrapped it around her shoulders. Burying his face into her hair, he breathed in deeply, smelling sunshine, wheat fields and something uniquely _American_ that seemed to permeate Lady Liberty just as much as it did Alfred. "I… I'm glad you're here. I'm glad… I got to see you… again. Even if… I… Oh Liberty…"

Liberty smiled and, feeling a rush of heat fluttering in her gut, leaned forward and pushed him to the grass. Sliding her legs over him, she straddled his hips, the green dress riding up past her knees, revealing two sun-kissed thighs. Reaching up, she gently lifted the heavy crown from her head and set it a safe distance away, and, plucking Britannia's wand from his hand, she set it inside the crown for safe keeping.

"But- Lib-"

"Shhh~…" She pressed two fingers to his pink lips. "Don't worry… I know how you are when it comes to… _physical activities_…" With that said, Liberty grasped the bottom of her dress and tore it off in one fell swoop without pause or ceremony. "Let me…?"

The pink hue from earlier raged into a red blush, spreading across his cheeks to his ears. Opening his mouth, he tried to speak but it came out garbled as his green eyes settled on the thin, white shift, barely concealing her body.

Grasping his hands, she moved them under the thin white cloth and placed them on each naked hip. Allowing a tiny smile to grace her face, she placed her hands on his flat belly and rubbed them up his chest, causing his toga to push past his hips, weaved them around his neck and capturing his lips with an open mouth kiss, messy and full of tongue. Wet, soft sounds came past their lips until he broke away with a gasp. A sigh escaped her pink lips as Britannia's hands moved up her sides, and down her back. Startled at his sudden desire to touch her, Liberty rolled her hips and ground herself against him, earning a breathless moan. Licking a trail from his lips and down his jaw, she nibbled on his earlobe and sucked on the delicate skin beneath.

Their breathless sighs and moans melded together, the two kissing and touching, running their fingers over every available surface until she pulled away and grasped his dripping length. Watched with eyes at half-mast, Britannia clutched her hips and moaned at the slick heat encasing him. The garden melted away, leaving only the two gasping and moaning together, her hips rising and slamming down with a slap of sweaty skin, puncturing the gasps forced from her lungs. He drove into her until the crescendo became too much, and the two collapsed into one another, kissing and touching as the raw hunger left them, leaving a wake of warm, lingering touches and whispered sweet nothings.

* * *

Bird song seeped through the layers of sleep. Whimpering softly, England scrunched his face and peeled his eyes open. Two soft globes of flesh, barely concealed, entered his vision. Glancing around, he found himself laying on top of Liberty, using her ample chest as a makeshift pillow. Blushing, he slowly extracted himself from Liberty's arms, swept his eyes over the current surroundings, and smiled.

_It worked!_ He grasped Liberty's arm and shook it until she whined and turned over. "Wake up! We have to go into the house!"

England stood, feeling a wave of giddiness wash over him. _All I need are my spell books and my wand, and this will all be over!_

Liberty finally heaved an irritated sigh and sat up. "It's too early…" She blinked, her eyes puffy from sleep and turned to glare at England. "I like Britannia more. He listens to me…"

England resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You mean he's easier for you to control and to order around?"

Liberty frowned and opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She slowly closed her mouth and, shooting another glare at England, turned around to put her green gown on.

"Come on, let's go inside."

England walked to the backdoor and muttered a few words in old English. A glow surrounded the lock as there was a loud click. He quickly opened the door and waited for Liberty to follow him into the house.

"So _this_ is your home?" Liberty looked around the kitchen, staring at the décor, a seamless mixture of old and new. "Its… you."

England scoffed, but it came out as a snort in his child form. "You _would_ say something like that. Now my wand _should_ be in the upstairs room…"

The small boy rushed away from the kitchen, through the dining room, and pounded up the stairs. Liberty followed with a much slower pace, taking the time to soak in the sights and smells of England's home. Eventually she went to the second floor, following England's excited voice.

"It's here, it _has_ to be here!" Liberty stepped into the room as England emptied a closet full of books, jars and other odds and ends. Seeing a group of objects sitting clustered together on the floor, Liberty knelt and touched them, picking one up and opening it. "Did you empty your pockets, England?"

"Ah- I couldn't stand it anymore! I've been holding those since that cop pulled us over for speeding!" More books flew from the closet and slammed into the wall. "It's just some personal things that belong to America and I- damnit! It's in this room, I know it! I was just _using_ it before I left for Vegas…"

The young boy ran from the closet, kicking aside stacks and mounds of books to open another closet. "I bet Rosie hid it again…!"

Liberty shook her head, not understanding England's relationship with his imaginary friends at all, and picked up a thick, black leather wallet. She opened it and found several government I.D.s, all with her male-self pictured on them. Smiling, she picked through the pockets, looking at the different cards and picture when a piece of paper slipped out. The paper was folded together many times, the creases severe and warping the paper as she tugged it free. Quick, scribbling fragments were on the paper all under the underlined heading of "England – September 1948".

_-said he prefers the quiet scenery to the busy, loud noises of the city, get a room that's not on the strip… -ask Nevada where the good bars and shows are… make sure the food at the hotel is good?-_

"I _know_ it's around here somewhere-"

"England?"

An annoyed, but youthful sigh came from the closet. "_Yes_, Liberty?"

"…Did… America have any plans for you? You know… did he want to do anything two nights ago?"

"Hmm? Well… he did mention something about wanting to go out … but it was too bloody hot to do _anything_. I just wanted to cool off but he kept insisting… the git."

England grumbled, and overturned a box. "Ah-ha! I **knew** it was in here! I'll have to talk to the faeries again about taking and hiding my things-… Liberty? Something wrong?"

Liberty blinked and realized she was staring at England. "Oh- well…" She stuffed the paper back into the wallet. "I… um…"

England stared at her, taking a cautious step. "Liberty?"

"When did you and America… _get together_?"

"Get together?" England parroted. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" Liberty dug her fingernails into the black leather of the wallet. "Like… when did you get together… as… a couple?"

"Ah-…" England stuttered, his round cheeks turning pink. "Why… would you want to know that?"

"Just curious."

"Well… it was after World War 2… er- late 1940s." England amended after realizing Liberty wasn't around through the second world war. "And it was right after summer… early fall, I believe. Why?"

"You forgot."

"Forgot what?"

_Honestly, she's been fine for this entire trip, and __**now**__ she's upset over something?_ England kept his face neutral and counted to ten. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"I already did." Liberty pressed her pink lips together and frowned. "You forgot."

"Forgot _what_?" England repeated. "We're here and I have my wand!" He raised it before her for good measure. "What more could we need?"

Hands trembling, Liberty opened America's wallet, dug the paper she stuffed in the folds moments earlier and threw it at him. "That's what you forgot!"

"Wha-?" England barely got a word out before Liberty flung the wallet at him, turned and stormed from the room. "Wait!"

_What the __**hell**__ is __**her**__ problem?_ He picked the paper up from the floor, unfolding it to see America's chicken-scratch handwriting. _This is what she's so upset about?_

He scanned the document, his eyes finally landing on the heading and reading the fragmented sentences below.

Oh.

_Oh._

Carefully refolding it back into its original shape, he dropped the paper to the floor and raised his wand over his head.

* * *

Liberty slammed the back door behind her and stomped through the garden and into the tiny grove of trees that grew on the land behind England's home of more than two hundred years. _That paper was something America wanted… wished for… it was a dream. He wanted to celebrate the anniversary of him and England's… relationship?_ Something twitched within her chest and fell to the pit of her belly. _I helped England's dream come true… but I broke America's in doing so… maybe if I had wished for Britannia to change me back into America instead of wishing to go to England's home…_

She sighed and finally looked around. Trees surrounded her, the wet smell of grass, earth and flowers flooding her nose, she found a bare spot at the foot of a thick tree and collapsed on her bottom, not bothering to fold her legs under her.

_I failed… The one thing I'm good at doing… and it's ruined. I failed at being Colombia… and now I've failed as Lady Liberty-_

"What are you doing?"

Liberty looked up and found England staring down at her. Only instead of a young, chubby child who barely came to her upper thigh, was a tall man, dressed in brown dress pants and a white button up shirt. Her cheeks grew hot at the striking resemblance to Britannia.

"I-I…"

"Is that a pout I see?" England raised a thick eyebrow. "You ran from me, and now you're pouting?"

"I'm not pouting!" Liberty stood and found that even as an adult, she was still slightly taller than England. "I'm angry."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I-I'm not…" Liberty touched her cheeks and found them wet. "…I…?"

England tugged a white cloth from his pocket and wiped the wetness from her cheeks. "I guess… you and America are not completely identical after all."

Liberty stared at him and frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's just…" England tried masking a smirk. "America wouldn't be caught dead crying like this. As far as I know… the only people who've seen him cry is Canada and his own states…"

Liberty frowned. "So? I'm crying! Big deal!" She tore the handkerchief from him and furiously rubbed the tears from her eyes. "You don't have to be such a dried up pill about it!"

England quirked an eyebrow at the slang, but wisely said nothing.

"I mean… sometimes people need to cry! Everyone does!" Liberty glared at him. "This is all _your_ fault anyway!"

"Yes, it _is_ my fault."

"So don't try to disagree-… wait… you… agree with me?"

"Yes… and… I'm sorry." England admitted, the reluctance ringing clear in his voice.

Liberty frowned back at him, her eyes growing misty. "I'm not the one to apologize to."

"I felt it was necessary." England admitted. "Isn't making dreams come true you're… strength?"

"…It was." Liberty wiped at her eyes once more. England frowned at her and Liberty quickly amended her statement. "It is."

"That's right. It is."

Liberty smiled and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Ah- Ow! England-… wait… huh?" America looked around, clutching his precious Nantucket, his huge blue eyes searching the change in surroundings. "Uh… where…?"

"_Finally_."

"Hey!" America looked up with a smile and found adult England looking down at him. "You're old again!"

"Yes I'm…" England frowned and grabbed the tiny nation by the back of his shirt and picked him up, holding him in his arms. "_Normal_ again."

"You're old. Admit it." America smiled and looked around. "So where are we and what happened to Kidzone?"

"We're on the back lot behind my home."

"So we made it to England?" America wrapped his small arms around England's neck, finding a comfortable spot on his chest. "I guess that's good… hey, did I-"

"You changed into Lady Liberty."

"Yeah… about that…" Alfred grinned sheepishly. "I guess I never told you about her, huh?"

England glanced at him with a frown, but headed back to the house.

"So… how did we-?"

"I'll tell you later. First, I…" The two finally came to England's garden, where they walked through and up to England's back porch. "…need to fix something."

England marched through the home, making his way upstairs where he set America down in the room. "There… stand here and don't move."

America stood in the middle of the room and stared at England suspiciously. _He's acting weird… I hope Liberty didn't do anything bad while she was in control…_

England muttered a string of words that sounded jumbled and tapped his wand on America's head. There was a pop, and the room suddenly grew smaller, the clothes that fit him grew unbearably tight and tore to shreds. The air rushed from his lungs in a wheezing cough, and dizziness flooded him.

"Ugh… geeze…" America gasped, clutching his chest. "Coulda' warned me about this!"

"Get dressed in those clothes, I have to do another spell."

America gawked at him, and felt a breeze on his lower regions. Blushing he turned around and tore off the remains of the clothes that still clung to him. "Another spell? For what?"

"Just get dressed, we don't have time."

"Time for what? What are we doing?" America picked up the clothes, noticing there was no underwear included, and with a rush of embarrassed excitement, slid the pants on. "Everything's fine now, right?"

"Quiet, I can't concentrate."

America threw the shirt on, noticing how tight it was across his chest and shoulders, and turned around. "But-"

"_Quiet_."

America frowned and pressed his lips together. "I _just_ want to know what's going on-"

There was a flash of light, the room shifted ninety degrees and a high-pitched ringing flooded his ears before he landed headfirst on something soft. Nausea consumed him as a set of surroundings came into focus. Groaning, he reached for something to clutch and rolled off the bed.

"Ah… there we are. Back in our old hotel room."

"W-what the hell?" America clutched his stomach and blinked to stop the dizziness. "D-…did you just… _beam_ us somewhere? What are you, Dr. Who or something?? Tony does that crap and I _hate_ it-"

"_Teleportation_ is the proper description." England smoothed the front of his shirt and checked his watch, unphased by America's commentary. "I _hate_ doing it because it drains me but time is of the essence-"

"Okay… okay. That's it. We're not going _anywhere_ until you tell me what's going on." America forced the nausea down and stood, finally recognizing the surroundings. "We're back in Vegas…?"

"Liberty helped me remember something important." England set his wand down and crossed the room to where America was standing. "I forgot what time of year it was…and why you seemed dead set on bringing me here to this place."

England pulled America's wallet from his pocket and pulled the folded paper out. America stared at it for a moment, uncomprehending, until realization dawned and he tore the paper from England's grasp in embarrassment.

"I…" The words died from England's mouth as he stared at the paper. "I… think it's wonderful to… celebrate it."

"It was _supposed_ to be a surprise." America stuffed the paper back into his pocket; a red blush lighting up his face. "I-"

"-I'd like to." England sputtered, his previous determination failing him. "To celebrate… I mean. It's been a while since we've done anything like… _that_… and… I guess it'll be… nice. Yes."

America stared at him and cracked a smile. "Well… good! Uh… meet me in the lobby downstairs?"

England nodded. "S-sure…"

An awkward silence followed and, unable to say anymore, England turned away with red cheeks, and fled the room.

America stared at his retreating form and smiled.

_Thanks, Liberty._

* * *

_Epilogue/Omake_

"-and the smoke from your transformation set the fire alarms off-"

"No way!" America laughed, spearing his steak with a fork and started sawing at it with his knife. "How long were we outside?"

"They didn't let us back in until late… I think it was past midnight." England picked at his food, eating the steamed vegetables. "We got inside and the next morning I tried having Liberty drive us to the airport."

America grinned and stuffed a piece of steak into his mouth after dipping it in the sauce.

The two had spent the day visiting and traveling around Vegas. America made sure to avoid the touristy areas, taking side streets and back exits to quickly get in and out of the various clubs, shows, exhibits and restaurants.

"You _actually_ let her drive?" America chuckled and started sawing at his steak once more. "What happened next?"

"The cops pulled us over for speeding." England deadpanned, not enjoying the rehash of events in the slightest. "Liberty admitted she had no driver's license, the cop handcuffed her and-"

"-and I saved their asses."

America and England looked up, finding Nevada standing before them with a half burned cigarette hanging from his mouth.

"Nice to see you back to normal, Dad."

"Wha-… Nevada?"

America stared at the teenager, his spine stiffening, and then turned to England. "You _called_ him?"

"I had no choice-"

"I _told you_ I didn't want to ask my kids for help!"

"Then you would rather I be sent to the juvenile detention center??"

"No!"

England slammed the fork to the table. "Then _why_ are you being so _difficult_?"

"Because-"

"-It's un-heroic." Nevada took a drag and sighed, blowing smoke over their heads. "Anyone ever say that you two fight like an old married couple?"

"That's right! _I'm_ the one my kids should turn to for help, not the other way around." America turned and glared at the state. "…And didn't you pass a law recently that made it illegal for you to smoke in here?"

"Just remember that you _owe_ me." Nevada smirked around his cigarette, not allowing his _father_ to change the subject. "I may need your backup when California and I get into another argument."

"Another argument-… would it _kill_ either of you to get along for once?" America turned back to England. "_Now_ do you see why I didn't want to call him? **Or** the others??"

"And you don't think that I deal with the same arguing and feuding all the time back home?" England stated with an incredulous look and picked up his fork again. "As I said before, I had no choice."

America huffed and crossed his arms. _If he __**only**__ knew what it's like to deal with all 50 of them during meetings…_

"Alright, fine. I'll keep it in mind." America shot a look to Nevada. "Now if you don't _mind_, I'd like a little peace and quiet with England before I have to deal with your brothers and sisters."

"Yeah, yeah… anniversary and all, gotcha." Nevada extracted his cigarette from his lips, and smothered it on an empty plate. "Talk to ya later Dad. I'm off to play the craps table…"

America stared at the cigarette butt and released a heavy, defeated sigh. "…I hate it when he does that."

"Cute kid. He has your lovely… _outgoing_ nature." England turned to America with a rueful smile. "But… I was wondering…"

America wrapped the cigarette butt in a napkin and crushed it. "Hmm?"

"He looks…"

England couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy deep within his chest.

"An awful lot like Spain."

* * *

~(end)~

**_Note:_** And the crazy, crackiness is finally over! Hopefully I didn't ruin my reputation too badly with this, lol. Thanks for all the alerts, fav's and what not. Also, reviews/comments are love :)

_Historical Stuff:_

Union - Many of you may already know this, but for those who aren't familiar with the American Civil War, the "Union" was a name for the states who remained with the original American Government and didn't break away to join the Confederate States of America

Antietam (Battle of Antietam) – "(also known as the Battle of Sharpsburg, particularly in the South), fought on September 17, 1862, near Sharpsburg, Maryland, and Antietam Creek, as part of the Maryland Campaign, was the first major battle in the American Civil War to take place on Northern soil. It was the bloodiest single-day battle in American history, with about 23,000 casualties" (From Wikipedia). This battle was also a major turning point in the war for the Union, as it was a victory that helped show the world (France and England were thinking of interfering with the war if there was no clear victory for the Union) that the Union may have a chance of winning the war, despite all the uncertainty. [/history nerd]

Bloody Lane – During the battle of Antietam, "The carnage from 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. on the sunken road gave it the name Bloody Lane, leaving about 5,600 casualties (Union 3,000, Confederate 2,600) along the 800-yard (700 m) road" (From Wikipedia). And if you're a history nerd (like me) they have pictures on wikipedia (on the Battle of Antietam page) that shows what it looked like in the aftermath, and what it looks like today.


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